My name is Autumn Buzzell and I live and work in Ghana, West Africa with City of Refuge Ministries. Here, I run our school, Faith Roots International Academy, and get to be a part in rescuing and the healing of children who have been trafficked into the fishing trade, orphaned, abandoned, and those who just need a little extra loving. What an amazing gift this life is!

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Monday, September 2, 2013

When Courage Fails...

I struggled last week.

I was so weary.


Exhausted from the work and the disappointment of trying and falling.

And I tried to be courageous and face each day head-on, but I ended up curling up in my bed instead. 

Closing out the world.

Thinking that if I close out the world, perhaps the disappointment...the frustration...the weariness...would all go away.

But, it didn't.

I had gotten my hopes up. 

All year, my focus has been getting our school ready for a principal so that I could move into a role of Director and work more in the classroom and discipling.

And the Principal I wanted agreed...a miracle, in fact. 

And then, the details just didn't get worked out.  And she turned it down.

And I was discouraged.

And then I got an email from my mama.  (Mom's always have the best emails filled with wisdom and love and encouragement and sense.)

And she said that I am courageous.

And that while others walk in a faith of fear, I walk in courage.

Some days, I don't feel courageous.

Some days, I don't feel bold.

She said that I have taught her how to trust in God.

Some days, I don't trust God.

Some days, I forget His good and faithful plans for my life (and the lives of these kids).

And she said that God not only loves me, but that He treasures me.

Some days, I think that I may have been forgotten.

But, my mama's words keep ringing in my ears.

And I'm reminded of Joshua. 

God kept telling him, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

And Joshua led armies. 

He conquered new lands.

An entire book of the Bible was written about his bravery.

But there where days when he needed reminding.

There were days, even in the midst of his great calling, that his courage failed.

And when his courage failed, and he wasn't bold, and he didn't trust God for His best, and he felt alone...

God was there.

That moment of understanding that God is there in the midst of the discouragement, that He will give courage when ours fails, that is called...



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