My name is Autumn Buzzell and I live and work in Ghana, West Africa with City of Refuge Ministries. Here, I run our school, Faith Roots International Academy, and get to be a part in rescuing and the healing of children who have been trafficked into the fishing trade, orphaned, abandoned, and those who just need a little extra loving. What an amazing gift this life is!

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Made to Crave, Post #8

Usually, I like to take this book one chapter at a time.  It works me.  I process it.  I chew on it.  I cry over it. 

But, travel makes you take a look at things a bit faster.  After all, it was the only book that I brought with me on my trip back, so chapters were read with relatively little emotional connection.  I mean, you can't sob about overeating while in an airport surrounded by strangers.  That would just be...weird. 

So, I read about five chapters on my trip home and have been processing them.  Digesting them.  Dwelling in the truths these past couple of days.

Here are a few thoughts that have hit home for me.

Lysa said, "If we are really going to stop circling the mountain and head north toward lasting changes, we have to empty ourselves of the lie that other people or things can ever fill our hearts to the full.  Then we have to deliberately and intentionally fill up on God's truths and stand secure in His love."

Easier said than done.

She went on to talk about identifying lies, replacing them with truth, and using scripture to back it all up.

This whole process...well, it brought me back to a time in my life where I believed so many lies about myself.

And there came a day when I had to choose to believe the truth or continue to live in the darkness of the lies.

When I finally chose the truth, God freed me.

He freed me of the lies.

He freed me of the sin that hid the lies.

He freed me of the darkness.

And I praise God for that.

But, I have to remember that this is a never-ending cycle.

Where Satan deceived before, he can deceive again.  And sometimes he deceives in completely new ways.

And I forget to guard myself against that.

And before I know it, the thought patterns in my brain that were healed, suddenly re-route and I'm stuck again.

Believing that my weight determines my value.

That my worth is given because of what I do, not who God created me to be.

Lysa's reminder was so good.  It reminded me of that place of freedom, instead of the chain of lies.

She went on to say, "My body size is not tied to my happy.  If my happy was missing when I was larger, it will still be missing when I get smaller."

And that one is a constant battle in my mind.

Particularly when I begin to think about marraige and a family of my own.  My heart longs for those things.  And yet, so often, I believe that if I looked different, I would be married.  If I looked different, I would be more content.

It's such a trap.

The lie that the way I look will determine how I feel....

The lie that marraige will solve all my issues of loneliness...

The lie that a family of my own would make me content...

"I have to learn to attach my happy to the only eternal stability there is and remain there."

The remaining is the hard part.  The remaining means that I have to surrender, yet again, these dreams and KNOW that God has a perfect plan.  HE will make me content.  After all, He is the one who created me and who could love you more than your own creator?

"We are taught to remain in Go's love so that we won't tie our happy to anything but God.  So that our joy will be complete. 
Complete.  as in not lacking anything.  Complete.  As in filled up to the brink with joy no matter if we are wearing our skinny jeans or not.  Complete.  As in satisfied with a fullness we can't get any other way.  Can you imagine how beautiful it would be to live as a complete person?"

Oh, I need that!  So often, I find my joy in other things.  I know that I need to live as a complete person, with God alone.

Lysa quotes Lamentations 3:24, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him....
Grasping the truth that God is our portion has the potential to transform more than just our eating habits; it can transform our responses to every aspect of our lives."

The Lord is MORE THAN ENOUGH for me.  And I was created for victory.  So, daily, I need to be digesting the truth that the Lord is my portion, and dwell in that. 

The last chapter that I read, talked about the desire to eat in secret, a common train for anyone who overindulges.  And I'm not just talking about food.  Things done in secret have a way of holding us in chains.  They are done in the dark and that darkness affects the way we can shine our light.

She says, "Sometimes our brokenness cannot support that kind of freedom with food outside the boundaries of a food plan."

Sometimes the way that I respond to food, well, I have to place guards for myself otherwise choosing to overeat is imminent. 

She provides some ways to set boundaries:

1) God has given me power over my food choices.

2) I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat.

3) When I'm struggling, ask the question, "How will I feel about this tomorrow?"

4) Remove the temptation or remove myself from the situation.

5) I can find ways to celebrate that doesn't involve blowing my healthy eating plan.

6) Being overweight is an outside indication that interna changes are needed for my body to function properly and for me to feel well.

7) I have these boundaries in place not for restriction but to define the parameters of my freedom.

Just such great thoughts.  Ways to set up myself for success.  On the road to health.

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