When Tears Flow

Lately, I have felt like a resevoir of tears has been opened up in me. 

In times by myself, I find tears flowing with great ease. 

It's a little uncommon for me.  I'm used to the occasional teary conversation with my mom over the phone, but for some reason, it's an almost daily occurance.

I cry for the families that I am investing in through this school that refuse to hear the truth of the Kingdom of God.

I cry as I mourn the sweet moments that I'm missing back in the States ...engagements ... babies...wedding...friendships...the comfort of a hug.

I cry as I feel the weight role that I hold here at City of Refuge.  Overseeing this huge project, knowing that the future of almost 200 children, it resides in how I facilitate things here.

I cry as I think about some of the things that I long for and don't see happening anytime soon, like a family of my own.

I cry as I see the needs among our own children, our own staff, our own people here.

I think many of my tears are brought on by irregular sleeping habits, but I also sense this softening in my spirit.

A quickening to the things of God.

And sometimes getting to see a glimpse of the heart of God is a painful process. 

Lord, help me to seek your face for these things.  Soften my heart to the things of you.  Mold me into who you want me to be.  Shape my character.  Open my ears to your voice. 

Even through the pain of distance and the loneliness...even through the challenges of this job and the struggle of leading and guiding all of these newly rescued children and all of these students...even through the days of little rest and many demands...

You are still God.  And I will worship you.