My Birth Story: Jace Nathanael "Kojo" Acheampong

 It's hard to believe that our Ava is 17 months old and we are staring down into the small eyes of our 2 1/2 week old baby boy.  With Edwin and Malvin both in their pre-teen crazies as 12 year olds who are currently on their Term 2 break from school, this season is keeping us busy.  It has left little time for sitting down in front of my computer to type up my reflections of my birth experience with our Jace, between keeping up with a toddler to keeping the boys entertained and keeping this little one fed (he is quite the eater)!  In small moments, I have been able to get a paragraph or two at a time put down throughout the past week, so here you go...the story of our amazing boy's birth, Jace Nathanael "Kojo" Acheampong.

Richard and I knew that we wanted our kids to be pretty close in age, however we were surprised to find we were pregnant only eight months after Ava was born.  We had just assumed that it would take a few months once we started trying towards baby #2, but we were pregnant the very first month we tried!  November 2020, we had an eight month only baby girl and baby #2 was on his way!

Jace's pregnancy was so much easier than Ava's.  With Ava, I was sick, throwing up multiple times a day, for 19 weeks, and then after that, once every morning when I woke up until the day she was born.  I also had pretty bad swelling in my ankles which made it uncomfortable to do much standing or much sitting for any length of time.  I had extremely high anxiety and was so worried about the birth, fears about her health once she was born, and so many many many emotions.  Richard dealt with me like a pro!  But, Jace was another story.  I was sick a couple of times during the first trimester, but mostly just felt like my energy was sapped and that nothing really tasted super great those first few weeks.  Beyond my first trimester, I felt pretty good.  I, overall, had good energy, kept up with Ava despite my growing size, and worked through until right before my family arrived in Ghana!  Richard kept commenting how easily I took to being pregnant, and it was such an easier pregnancy than before, especially my frame of mind as I wasn't overwhelmed with anxiety and felt more confident in the process before me.  

At 20 weeks, we announced on social media

My prenatal care experience was a little different than with Ava as well.  With Ava, I primarily met with an OBGYN for each appointment and had one midwife work with me during the prenatal and birth of our baby girl.  With Jace, we met with a team of midwifes at our hospital.  It was a constant rotation of midwifes and usually a different person each week.  They were all overseen by our OBGYN, so we occasionally met with him as well to ensure that everything was going as planned.  This was sometimes hard for me as each time, I had to explain again about certain parts of my pregnancy to a new midwife each week and there wasn't the consistency of one caregiver.  Near the end of my pregnancy, a midwife was assigned to me to work with me until the baby was born.  She was an older midwife with lots of experience working as a midwife in the government sector.  She was kind and we connected over ministry work as she also served in her church, but she was a bit rough around the edges, used to the harsher environment of the government hospital.  Her experience outweighed her rough edges and we were glad to have someone with considerable experience ready to help us bring our baby boy into the world.  I was a little hesitant, but Richard helped me to turn my fears and worries into prayers towards a healthy delivery of our little man.

At around 38 weeks, I started to have a few Braxton Hicks contractions, especially at night.  With Ava, I had NO SIGNS of oncoming labor, so I got really excited.  The baby began to settle down really low in my hips and each week I met with the midwife, they would comment on how low he was.  I was sure this little man was going to come before his due date, July 22.  With my mom, sister, and niece scheduled to arrive just a couple of days before my due date, we began to prepare for our little man's arrival apart from my family being here.  However, he clung in there.  Laying low in my hips, giving me little sleep at night, and still we waited.

39 weeks and counting

And then, for the big surprise...

My family's scheduled arrival on July 19 finally came and Richard headed to the airport with Johnbull to pick everyone up.  I was at home with the kids and though they were stuck in traffic for quite some time, they made it back to CORM that afternoon.  I was so excited to welcome my mom, sister, and niece.  They were thrilled to see Ava and she willingly gave hugs all around, which is usually hard for her to do with people she doesn't know.  We all shared hugs by the time John's car pulled up and out came MY BROTHER CHRIS, SISTER-IN-LAW JENN, and NEPHEW KAYDEN!!!  I was blown away that they were in Ghana, that they pulled off such a big surprise, and that they were here, after all these years!  I was so excited, surprised, and thrilled!

The Buzzell-Bowens-Acheampong Crew (minus the boys who were in school)

Of course, with the whole family here, there was now a lot of pressure for baby boy to make his appearance.  We spent the days chatting and catching up, filled with games and laughter and memory-making.  The evenings were spent walking the basketball court and praying this little guy would come before everyone had to take off.  In the waiting, we had a few different adventures to fill the time.  The family spent one day in Accra going to one of our big markets, Makola, while I went in for my 40 week check-up.  They bought fabric and could have spent all day looking and experiencing the craziness of our busy open-air markets.  I, on the other hand, had a quick check to see if I was dilated (my least favorite part of the birthing process--those cervical checks) and was disappointed to discover that I was only one centimeter dilated and my cervix hadn't thinned at all.  The doctor stripped my membranes in hopes to get things moving along and they sent me home with directions to keep walking and squatting!  The next day, we took the whole family to Stone Lodge, where Richard and I got married.  Everyone swam, we enjoyed a fabulous lunch, and then we toured around, showing them where we exchanged "I do's", talked about my own mini-vacay to Stone Lodge after getting engaged, and made new memories.  We snapped a million photos and everyone got a little toasty under the Ghana-sun.

Sunday, I began to feel some contractions coming on.  I had lost my mucus plug and was hoping that labor was on the way.  We all celebrated the possible birth of our little guy as Chris, Jenn, and Kayden were leaving the next day and we all wanted them to get to meet our little man before they left.  We walked and walked, timing the contractions.  We talked to our doctor and midwife, letting them know that contractions had started, though they were fairly far apart.  By the time we were heading inside for the evening, the contractions were pretty regular, but not too intense.  We debated if it was time to go to the clinic to be checked or if we should try to sleep a little before things got harder.  As we talked it through, the contractions got farther apart, and that seemed to give us our answer.  We pulled out all our things we needed for the hospital, set it all down by the door, and then headed to bed.  I was so relieved to get some extra rest and fell quickly to sleep with very little interruption throughout the night from the contractions.  By 4am, they started up again, this time with more intensity.  I began to time them and realized they were about 6 minutes apart and quite painful.  I got up to walk around the living room a bit and Richard followed.  We ended up deciding to head in when they hit 5 minutes apart.  We called ahead to let them know we were coming in, but our midwife let us know that she had something going on that day, so she would come in and check me out and then take off for awhile and hopefully be back in time for the delivery.

When we arrived at the clinic, they brought us into the delivery room, a small, narrow room with a bed and various equipment needed to assess the baby upon birth, and a small bathroom.  There was hardly room for more than three people to stand, but my sister, Richard, and I all piled in with the midwife, hoping that things were progressing well.  After being checked, they let me know that I was only at a two and still no thinning.  Immediately, they wanted to administer Pitocin to get things moving faster.  I pleaded with them to let me go home to labor at home, but they said that the position of the baby was very low and they wanted to do regular checks on his heartrate to ensure that he was doing ok.  Again, they began to prep my hand for an IV and I asked if I could at least be given a measure of time to try to give birth as naturally as possible.  After Andrea and Richard stepped in with some convincing, I was told that I could spend the day walking around and try to progress naturally.  They wanted to monitor the baby every hour and they would check me every four hours for progress.  They wanted to see me progress one centimeter per hour to continue to move forward naturally.  We asked if we could be moved to another room to labor in as this room was so small, but there wasn't another one available, so our options were to labor outside, at the clinic's children's playground area, or remain in the tiny room.  

Relieved, Andrea, Richard, and I left the small room and headed outside.  We walked circles around the playground area, feeling very familiar with last year's same experience (though I was induced to start labor that time around).  I climbed the stairs of the playground set over and over.  I tried different positions to help encourage labor (thank you YouTube) both in the room and out on the playground.  I did endless numbers of squats.  We took breaks every now and then for snacks and drinks.  I didn't want to have tummy issues during delivery, so I kept it light with some trail mix and water.  After the first four hours, they checked me and I was only at a three.  I was so disappointed, but we headed out for more walking and squatting.  Chris, Jenn, and Kayden stopped by with Johnbull and JJ as they had to head out to the airport.  Alas, they didn't get to meet our baby boy in person (but hopefully sometime soon!).  It was so nice to get to say goodbye to them, even though I had to give hugs between contractions.  As it got closer to the next four hour mark, I was getting a little tired and my legs where shaking a bit from all of the stairs and squats.  Richard and Andrea suggested I try to rest a little in the room, and going inside slowed the contractions down as I wasn't moving as much, but it was helpful to get a little rest as the next check brought the disappointing news that I was only at a 5 and they were wanting to induce.

The contractions were quite painful at that point; I felt overwhelmed with anxiety at the thought of another Pitocin-birth as it was quite challenging with Ava; and I began to cry, wondering if I had it in me to do it all over again.  I felt like I wasn't given much of a choice in continuing to labor naturally as they were worried about my stamina to continue after it had already been close to 12 hours of strong contractions and I was a bit worn down.  When I began to cry, the midwife told me that I just had to change my thinking in that moment because the baby was coming and there wasn't any "I can't" allowed in that moment.  

As soon as the Pitocin hit my system, I ended up having one long contraction that lasted about 5 solid minutes and was super strong in intensity.  There was very little lag time between the build up of each contraction following that long first one and they seemed to grow in intensity each time they built.  Due the small size of the room and the need for me to be laying on my left side, I had to be face to face against the wall.  With the intensity of the contractions, I needed to grip someone's hand and at the same time, have someone also press on my back as the contractions brought lower back pain that was unreal.  I tried as much as possible to breathe through each contraction without making any extra noise, but each contraction came on stronger than the one before and before 30 minutes had passed, I felt the need to start to push.  

This was the space with Ava's birth that I had hated the most.  It was so intensely hard...to breathe through the bodies' need to push because the baby wasn't fully past the cervix.  And here I was again, needing to push and all my body bearing down to move the baby out, yet being told not to push and to simply breathe through it.  I struggled through every breath, praying that each feeling of bearing down was working to get him closer because it was so hard not to push...so so hard.  Richard was in my ear, reminding me not to push and to breathe.  Andrea was there encouraging me through.  When I asked them to pray, they prayed.  When I asked for them to bring in some worship, they brought in all the right songs to help me battle through the moment.  I feel like, in some ways, they battled just as hard for me as I was battling because the 30 minutes I was on Pitocin was so so hard.  Finally, when I just couldn't hold it anymore, they told me to push.  I gave one push, but my position wasn't quite right and so they moved me around a bit and told me to push again and in that second push, he came out all at once, with a loud boisterous cry!

He is finally here!

Relief--it is the most amazing feeling when the baby is out.  All the pain just suddenly stops and there he is, laying on your belly--this long-awaited for child.  I got to look at him and hold him and cherish him and his safe arrival and after a bit, they took him over to be weighed and measured.  And the next part of my "delivery" began...

With Jace in the little evaluation station next to me, the midwife went to work delivering my placenta.  I don't remember this part of the process with Ava's birth, so it was kind of fascinating to pay attention to this time around.  The midwife pressed on one point in my abdomen and suddenly a contraction came.  She asked me give a little push and out came my placenta with a whoosh!  

With Ava, I was taken into another room to be sewn up as I had a second degree tear with her.  With Jace, I had torn where I did with Ava and then a little more.  But, they just brought the nursing staff and janitorial staff in to clean up while they began doing what they needed to do to repair my tear.  Unfortunately, it was not a pleasant experience for me. It was a little hard to maintain the position they needed as the bed was covered in fluids, but they kept at it and Richard helped hold my slippery foot in place.  Beyond that, the hormone shakes were causing my whole body to shiver, so they covered me in a blanket to calm the shakes.  Even though they had used lidocaine, it wasn't enough to completely numb the area and it was quite painful.  The lighting in the room wasn't super great, so while I needed to hold someone's hand to push through the pain, I looked up to see that Richard and a whole series of nurses where using their phone flashlights to help guide the midwife through the stitching.  Andrea, in the meantime, got booted from the too-small room as more staff had entered (2 helping with the baby, and maybe 3 nurses plus Richard with their phones down at the end of the bed with the midwife).  The janitor got moved up to hand-holder in a moment's notice as I reached out to someone in a particularly painful moment and she was there to grab a hold of.  I was grateful for her kindness to stick by me through the whole process.  Beyond that, there was also the painful scraping out of the uterus to ensure that no large blood clots were left behind.  This was done three times before the midwife was satisfied that I was good to go.  It was an incredibly painful and a bit overwhelming process for me to have so many people present in such a vulnerable moment, and even more vulnerable to have much of the ongoing conversations happening in Twi, so I only caught moments of what was going on.  There was never unkindness and always encouragement that I was doing well, to keep pushing through, that they were almost done.  I was so grateful for those words as they helped me push through the pain to get to the other side.  I joked when it was all finished that it was like giving birth a second time...that may have been a bit dramatic, but they all laughed at my American dramatics.  I was able to sit up and really hold my little man, so thrilled that he was finally here.

My wonderful janitor friend in the background as I got to hold Jace

Mom and Dad with our newest family member

It is pretty amazing that after such a crazy experience, you can sit up, pull on your adult diapers and walk up two sets of stairs to your room and feel marvelous!  I mean, the pain medicine afterwards is helpful, but in all, the way God created a woman's body to push through that extreme amount of pain to get to extreme joy on the other side of it, it's really unbelievable!  And Jace was perfect!  All of his tiny fingers and toes, his adorable dimples, his face so similar to our little Ava (except for the little birthmarks down his nose).  We fell in love immediately!

He was born at 4:46pm on July 26, 2021.  He weighed in at 3.2kgs which is 7.04lbs and 51cm long which is 21 inches.

Andrea was able to go home to get some rest and spend the night with Harper after we got checked into our room upstairs.  Richard and I marveled at our little fella.  He got started breastfeeding right away (and he hasn't stopped since...he is quite the good little eater...also a big difference from my experience with Ava).  Our first night, he didn't want to stay in his little crib.  We tried swaddling.  We tried bundling him up away from the fan or a/c, but really, all he wanted was to be close to his mama.  He ate a few times in the night, but slept pretty well that first night.  

The next day, our family came to visit to meet little Jace.  We couldn't wait for Ava to see her little brother and grandma was super excited to meet our little man.  I had never spent a night away from Ava since she was born, so I missed her and seeing her that next morning, I just realized how big she was!  I know it was just seeing how tiny Jace was and how much bigger she is than him, but it really was a strange switch in my eyes, seeing her as a big girl now.  Our wild, spunky Ava--I was nervous that she would be so harsh with the little baby, but she was gentle as could be.  She used one finger to touch his soft cheek.  She pressed her little nose to his face, giving whisper kisses on his forehead.  Our big girl, indeed.  She grew up in a moment before my eyes!

There in the hospital, we were able to share the name with our family as we weren't planning on doing the naming ceremony before they left.  Jace Nathanael "Kojo" Acheampong.  Jace is a Hebrew name meaning healer or "The Lord is Salvation".  Jace was a name that Richard has wanted for a long time, even mentioned it before we were married.  Nathanael means "God has given" and there is a story about him meeting with Jesus in the New Testament and him being given a vision of heaven being opened.  Our prayer is that this name will carry Jace into the world, knowing that he belongs to a God who loves him and that he will passionately share that love with others wherever he goes.  We pray that he will have hands that long to heal the brokenness in this world with the love of Jesus.  "Kojo" is the name for boys who are born on a Monday, just like our little guy was!  We love our little Jace Nathanael.

The family stayed for a good portion of the day and before too long, we were evaluated by the doctor on duty and discharged!  We made it home before school was out at CORM, less than 24 hours after our baby boy had been born!

Of course, we were excited for Edwin and Malvin to meet their baby brother, but they seemed quite distanced when they came home, nervous for the new dynamic, I'm sure.  They warmed up before too long though, and have become pro-baby-holders!

The days since his arrival have been a mixture of feeding, eating, sleeping--less sleeping on our part, but we are all surviving!  The first few nights, he slept best on the couch out with mama.  After that, he has grown comfortable in his own little bed between mom and dad.  We are slowly warming him up to the idea of his own little bed in his bassinet.  He loves to eat and mom spends much of her days in the rocking chair feeding him.  It's been a transition with Ava as she has been used to having full access to mama, but we are all adjusting!  She is definitely a daddy's girl these days.  The boys have been out of school as well, so there has been an element of keeping them busy as well.  Being parents to FOUR is no joke!

The postpartum season has looked different from Ava's as well.  I dealt a bit with baby blues and SO MANY HORMONES with Ava.  This time around, I feel much more SANE.  I still get tired and by the afternoon, can feel a little weepy just due to lack of sleep, but overall, feel pretty good this time around.  Physically, I've been healing up well and haven't had some of the issues (so far) that I had last time with Ava's postpartum healing.  It's been a much easier process for me.

We are endlessly grateful!  Grateful to our family who came and served and cooked and cleaned and babysat our kiddos for us, who traveled so far in the midst of COVID craziness to love on us and our kids.  Grateful to our CORM family who loved and supported and brought groceries and helped with transportation at a moment's notice.  Grateful for the team who delivered our boy into this world and took such good care of me in the meantime.  Grateful most of all to God for giving us a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  Endlessly grateful!