My Birth Story: Ava Lynne "Babaa Akosua" Acheampong

The past three years of my life here in Ghana have been drastically different than my previous years...welcoming Edwin and Malvin in my home, falling in love with Richard, getting married, and now having a baby of our own.  Years of prayers and waiting and wondering and questioning, fulfilled in such a short amount of time.

But these answered prayers haven't come easily...each gift that God has given has come with its own challenges and blessings.  Welcoming Malvin and Edwin into my home in 2017 has sanctified me in a whole new way, showing me places where I need to grow and encouraging change in my own life.  Dating in 2018 and getting married in 2019 has been one of the sweetest gifts I have ever received, but it has come with a price.  Marriage does change the other relationships in your life.  And it has been an experience of sanctification and sacrifice all of its own.  Finding I was pregnant only five months after being married brought such excitement for both Richard and I, but it also meant that the majority of our first year of marriage was filled with the emotional roller-coaster that is pregnancy!  And an emotional roller-coaster it was...my first four months with pretty extreme nausea that I thought would never end...then the swollen feet...the low iron...the fatigue...the constant sweating (note to self--Ghana's hot season is February-April)...Richard dealt with it all like a champion!  He handled the tears with so much grace (and there were a lot of tears), spoke truth when needed, and went to all of my doctor's appointments with me (what a champ!). 

Family photos, taken December 2019

By the time that my due date rolled around, February 22, 2020, I was ready to be done being pregnant, but so frightened at the process of giving birth.  I had spent probably 6 months during my pregnancy researching, listening to podcasts, and praying through giving birth naturally.  There was just so much fear involved for me, but knowing that there really wasn't another option as I was giving birth in Ghana and pain intervention isn't given here, I knew that the great challenge I was going to have to overcome was my own fear and the battle that existed in my mind.  In the week before my due date, I spent each morning in my quiet time resting in so many different scriptures that spoke about overcoming fear and trust in a loving Father God. 

While I spent a lot of time preparing mentally, I was also trying to prepare physically with evening walks with Richard on the basketball court, and taking the opportunity to get in some good afternoon naps most days.  While I was anxious in the waiting at times, I look back and realize how good it was to get that time to rest and to prepare my body peacefully. 

My due date came and went without incidence and before I knew it, my family, my mom, sister and niece, safely arrived in Ghana on Sunday, February 23.  We were hoping they would arrive in time for the delivery, and were so grateful that they did.  They brought with them six boxes full of gifts for baby girl and our family.  It was so wonderful to see the overflow of love for our little baby girl!  Going through the boxes was a labor of love over the next few days, as we explored places to put everything, rearranged our bedroom, added space for bottles in the kitchen, and prepared our home for our little baby girl!

Andrea and I with baby girl still hanging out inside!

Monday, February 24, my family, Richard and I all went to the doctor's office for my 40 week check-up (40 weeks, 2 days to be exact).  It was at that appointment, our doctor discussed the possibility of induction the following Saturday had labor not set in.  I was a little upset at the news, wanting to go into labor naturally, if possible.  Because of that, we upped our walking time each day.  I tried to be as active as possible during the day, though I still made time for a daily nap as I often felt tired and overwhelmed by all that was ahead. 

After talking with a few friends and discussing with Richard and my family, the following day, we called our doctor and asked if we could have my membranes stripped prior to the induction on Saturday in hopes that that would move along my labor.  The doctor agreed that was a good option and set up an appointment for early on Wednesday, February 25 with one of the midwifes at the clinic.  I was nervous about the experience, gathering as much first-hand information as possible from my friend Christina who had her membranes stripped with her last baby.  Feeling it was still the best option to get things moving, we went in early that Wednesday morning and waited for our appointment with the midwife.  Upon arrival at our clinic, there was a mad dash of nurses and I saw a quick flash of our midwife as she was helping a laboring mom move from the labor ward to the delivery ward.  She quickly came over and greeted Richard and I and let us know that she was helping to deliver a baby at the moment so she would be over soon to help us.  I was so surprised at that laboring mama walking peacefully to the delivery ward, ready to welcome her baby into the world.  Is this what I would experience in just a few more days?  Awhile later, our midwife led us into the surgical ward at the hospital, having me change into a hospital gown and position myself in the rather precarious chair.  While I knew that it wasn't going to be a pleasant experience, my friend Christina had told me to remember that it wasn't going to last long, so to just persevere through.  That was the best advice I could have received because it was quite a painful procedure, but because I knew it wasn't going to last super long, I was able to endure it.  The midwife let us know that I was only one centimeter dilated.  I still had a long ways to go!

My, perhaps unrealistic, hope was that this would move labor along easily and by the following day, our baby would be here!  While it did create some movement (I lost my mucus plug and had mild contractions that night), labor never intensified, despite my hours of walking, my squats I attempted poolside the next day while my family swam, and despite eating spicy food, pineapple, prunes, and all the rest!  By Friday, February 28, I knew that the induction was inevitable and decided to make the best of my day.  I remember waking up early that morning, around 3 am, as the power was out and the heat made sleep impossible.  I made my way into the living room in the quiet of the morning, turned on some worship music, and spent time praying and singing over our little girl.  I prayed over the labor and delivery.  I prayed over my body.  I prayed for Richard and I as we would transition to parents of a newborn.  I prayed for Malvin and Edwin, that we would be able to help them transition to our new family of five.  I prayed and I cried and I felt at peace.  And then, I just felt tired.  By 5:30, I got the boys up to get ready for school and then I crawled back into bed to grab a few winks before the day began.  When I did wake up at last, my family and I made our way over to the school to see Malvin and Edwin in their spelling bee (they both got out in the first round).  We spent the rest of the day resting and cleaning, preparing for all that was ahead in the next few days.

Swim Day with the Family 

Faith Roots Int'l Spelling Bee

We were scheduled to arrive early at the hospital the following day (Saturday, February 29--leap day), so we wanted an early night of sleep as I was sure it was going to be a long few days.  Malvin and Edwin packed up their things to move over to the Omorefe house for the weekend and to give Richard and I a quiet night together.  Needless to say, we forgot that it was the night of the monthly All-Night Worship and Prayer gathering on campus.  Midnight rolled around and as the loud music seeped from the prayer house into our windows, sleep seemed to come and go.  By the time 4am came, the time the prayer night came to a close, it was time for us to get up and begin getting ready to drive to the hospital.  We were both tired from such a restless sleep, but anxious to get everything started.  My mom, Andrea, and Harper were planning on meeting us at the clinic later in the day, so off we went!

Of course, once we arrived, everything ran a bit more on Ghana-time.  While we were scheduled to check in at 5am, they didn't have the room ready upon arrival and the midwife wasn't going to be available until 7am, so we had some time to rest and reflect and prepare before the induction would begin.  Richard helped me set up the room with a diffuser, organized all our bags of food and games and stuff, while I nervously changed into my newly bought nightgown in preparation for the long haul.  Richard prayed for us and we talked through each and every one of the verses I had been writing down on 3x5 cards over the course of the week.  By the time the midwife came in, we felt a real peace in the room and knew we were ready for all that was ahead.

Our midwife, Bernice, had been assisting with our case over the course of my pregnancy, though we mostly met with our doctor for our regular appointments.  She was always positive and engaging and easy to talk with, which made me at ease when it came to sharing such an intimate experience with someone I don't really know well.  When she arrived, she explained that she would be inserting 1/4th of a pill of cytotek into my cervix to induce labor.  If labor wasn't progressing in four hours time, she would insert another 1/4th of a pill.  The cervical check and insertion, while it was only for a short amount of time, was so uncomfortably painful.  I had made no further progress in my dilation, still only at one centimeter.  But once it was placed, Richard and I ate breakfast and hoped that things would get moving soon. 

By 10am, my family arrived and filled up our little private room with conversation and laughter.  Harper was a source of endless delight and before too long, we made our way outside to the hospital's outside play area.  It provided me with a place to walk without being too conspicuous (a white pregnant lady seems like the center of a lot of stares here in Ghana, but with children occupied with a playground full of toys, I didn't encounter too many stares). 

By the time we were scheduled for our second dose of cytotek, I hadn't felt much difference.  I felt a bit achy in my lower back and felt as if I was having light menstrual cramps, but nothing regular that felt like the waves I had heard about.  My family left to go and get lunch at a nearby restaurant and they checked my cervix again and administered the second dose. I still was only one centimeter dilated.  I was a little bit discouraged as Bernice expressed that they wouldn't administer an additional dose.  If this didn't get things moving, then they would have to result to a c-section, something I desperately didn't want.  However, it did give me some motivation to keep walking as much as possible, and Bernice suggested squats and stair climbing when I had the energy.

After my family returned from the restaurant and we had all eaten a bit, we headed back out to the playground for another round of walking.  Harper was delighted to find a little girl's birthday party was taking place that day.  The playground was full of so many new friends for my social little niece, whom she promptly named all "her sisters" (whether they were boys or girls!).  It was fun watching her play around, but before too long, my contractions began.  I was excited that they had started and that things were finally progressing!  Since I was induced, the contractions were different than if I had gone into labor naturally.  They were every 2-3 minutes apart and about 45 second long from the very beginning.  They weren't super strong to begin with, so they did increase in intensity over time, but they never were spaced out more than those 2-3 minutes apart.  Each contraction sent a wave through my lower back and through my abdomen.  I remember walking circles around the playground, trying to avoid tripping over small children on tricycles and attempting to avoid falling over them as they ran to jump on the trampoline or slide down the slide. 

Harper enjoying bounce time with "her sisters"

A full play area for my labor walks

By 4:30 pm, it was time for another cervical check.  These were some of the least enjoyable parts of the labor process--they were painfully uncomfortable and were somewhat discouraging as they frequently told of my lack of progress rather than my moves forward!  By that time, even though I had had regular contractions for over 2 hours, I had only progressed to two centimeters dilation.  I tried to lay down and get a little nap as I was feeling pretty tired, but with the contractions coming every 2-3 minutes and increasing in intensity, sleep was hard to come by.  I continued to walk and then would come to the room for some cool down with the air conditioning and Richard would assist me in squats.  At this point, I was struggling mentally.  The pain was increasing in intensity, especially in my lower back and I was feeling quite physically tired from the few days during the week that I hadn't slept well and the restless night of sleep before checking into the hospital.  Knowing I was only at 2 centimeters meant that there were hours and hours still before me to get to where I needed to be.  I remember sending out a message to friends to be praying for strength and I felt mind and body weary with so much still lingering in front of me.

By 8:30 pm, my next cervical check showed only one additional centimeter in progress.  While I was now at 3 cm, my cervix was not thinning out much.  However, Bernice told me that she could feel my waters bulging when I was having a contraction.  Though she attempted to break the water sack, baby girl's head was resting too close to the surface and she was unable to break it.  Instead, Bernice wanted me to start walking stairs and to do squats so that it would push baby girl's head more against the cervix to assist in that thinning and dilation process and if I could progress a little further, she would be able to attempt to break the waters again, which should help in moving things along a little faster.  At that point, I was struggling to feel encouraged that this was good news knowing that every four hours only brought one centimeter of change.  How long could I withstand it?  Could I actually do this?  Was I going to have to give in to a c-section to bring our baby into this world? 

My family and Richard gathered around and got me moving.  They would have me walk up the stairs and do 30 squats at the top, walk down to the bottom of the stairs, turn around and do one more set.  Then, I could return to the room for some much needed air conditioning.  Somehow, along the way, Andrea created a little sleeping nook on the floor under the hospital bed for Harper and she was out--oblivious to all that was occurring in and out of our room.  My mom, Andrea, and Richard took turns walking with me, encouraging me when my brain felt like it was foggy from lack of sleep and when my body hurt from the ongoing contractions.  Someone was quick to be at my back providing counter pressure while someone was in front of me reminding me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth.  They took turns reading me my verses.  When I needed to throw up, they somehow found a container for me.  They each found a role, filling in for each other when one grew weary, taking turns offering comfort when my body and my brain couldn't really comprehend what I needed.

As February turned to March, my sister took over my updates.  She wrote:

12:37am: Midwife just broke her water.  She's 4cm.  They are hoping it will progress more quickly now that the water is broken.

Richard helps provide counter pressure and helps me breathe through the contractions--coming with more and more intensity.

1:27am: They put an IV in with sodium chloride to try to speed up labor.  It's pretty intense pain now.  Keep praying!  And they added oxytocin to it.

I was this crazy swing between too hot and too cold, not sure if I should stand or if laying down would feel better.  Andrea and Bernice (along with Richard and my Mom) were by my side pushing me through each contraction.

I remember Andrea looking at me and explaining that Bernice wanted to give me some medicine to speed up the labor.  I felt like I couldn't make the decision for myself--sure, I wanted things to move along faster, but I wasn't sure if I could handle an increase in pain.  My mom later commented that Bernice was quick to assess the situation--observing me to see the strength I had left to put towards bringing our girl into this world.  Each contraction seemed to drain more and more strength from me, my restless night the night before leaving my brain in a fog so that I couldn't keep my eyes open for very long and often felt myself swaying in a dozey state, only to be awakened again in a few moments by the pain in my back and abdomen.  I knew with the addition of more meds would be faster contractions, more intense pain, and with pain in my eyes, I agreed.  Bernice had me climb into bed so that I could get the IV put in, and she rolled me to my left side to make sure that the baby was getting all the oxygen she needed.  The challenge with being on my left side was that it left me facing the wall with limited space for someone to provide the counter pressure I needed.  However, as soon as that medicine hit, everything sped up.  The hardest part of my labor was there, on my left side facing that wall.  Richard lined up to my ear, helping me breathe and providing pressure when a contraction would come on.  My mom's voice was somewhere behind me reminding me not to push, but to breathe.  And my sister's voice was counting as I breathed.  Bernice, down below, was monitoring my progress.

So tired, but trying to breathe...

After the IV went in, my labor intensified drastically.  I went from six cm dilated to ten cm dilated in about thirty minutes.  At that point, it wasn't the contractions that hurt so bad, it was the overwhelming desire to push.  My whole body screamed PUSH, but Bernice calmly kept telling me that I wasn't ready to push--I would hurt myself if I tried to push now.  However, I didn't know how to stop it...the contraction would come like a wave and I would start to pant--in through the nose and out through the mouth--and then a guttural grunt would pour from my throat as I tried so hard not to push.  My mom kept repeating, "Don't waste your energy on all the noise...just breathe".  But it was as if my body couldn't help it...the need to push kept coming and the longer I kept it at bay, the harder it was to breathe through.  The guttural grunt screaming past my vocal chords, while Richard spoke in my ear, "Breathe--in--out--in--out".  The reminder that I needed until the next contraction came.  My energy sapped and any movement at all felt like it took immense effort, Bernice asked me to roll to my back for a final check.  I heard her wonder if we would make it to the delivery room, but there was no way THIS mama was getting up and walking down the hallway to that room for the baby to come.  It was happening in this room and that was it...

I remember hearing my mom telling me that they were getting the baby's things ready as they pushed and pulled me this way and that to position me and prepare for baby girl's arrival.  Finally, they said it was time to push and I was so relieved that I didn't have to hold it back anymore.  They moved the bed away from the wall so that Andrea could help me hold one leg and Richard grabbed the other.  Bernice got their attention as she showed them that our baby's head was right there.  As the next wave crashed over me, I pushed with all my might--my mom again reminding me to save my voice as I continued to grunt my way through and Richard counting the breathing with me as I pushed.  When the contraction ended, Bernice asked if she could give a small episiotomy, but I asked her instead if I could just tear instead, knowing from my research that tears tended to recover easier.  She was willing and let me know that the next contraction was the one!  As it rolled over me, I began to push and suddenly, I knew her head was out and with one more push, she was there.  Bernice grabbed her and pulled up my nightgown so baby girl could get skin to skin right away.  She was here!

Our sweet girl is here!

I was so exhausted, so I had so little recollection of what was going on at the time.  I remember her being put on my belly and getting to hold her and look at her face while they suctioned her out and did a little wipe down of her skin.  I remember saying, "Hi, baby girl!".  She made some small crying noises, but she wasn't very loud.  She was so little and I kept thinking, "I did it!  I just can't believe I did it!".  I got to hold her while they delivered my placenta and suddenly, it was all done...the pain was over...the intensity gone.  All I felt was sweet relief and an overwhelming love for my husband, my family, and this little girl.  I even remember seeing Harper up and around in those sweet moments after the birth.  I don't know when she woke up to join the party, but her curious little face was watching and observing everything excited to meet her "baby cousin", as she lovingly referred to her.

Due to my tears (I had a second degree tear and several smaller ones), I had to be separated from her for awhile while they took her to be weighed and measured.  I was taken into that same room that I had my membranes stripped to be sewn up.  They wheeled me into the room, but the adrenaline shooting through my body was making me shiver uncontrollably.  They covered me in a blanket to relieve the shivering, but climbing into the chair was incredibly uncomfortable.  The repairs took over an hour, but Richard stood by my side, holding my hand and comforting me when it was painful, encouraging me, and even making me laugh at points.  It was a strange experience because while it was a painful to get the tears sewn up, I was longing to be with my girl, just in the room over.  My mom was with her while they weighed and measured her.  I could hear her little cries and longed to be there, but I knew soon enough, we would be together.

When the repairs were finally finished, probably over an hour later, we were finally wheeled back into our room and got to hold our little baby girl.  In our personal opinion, she was perfect!

She was born on Sunday, March 1, 2020 at 2:23 am.  She weighed in at 3.3 kg (7.3 lbs) and 48 cm long (19 in).  Since she was a Sunday-born baby, in Ghanaian culture, she was given the nick-name Akosua, which is the female name for Sunday-born babies.

Andrea, Harper, and my mom were able to go out to the waiting room to catch some sleep while Richard and I curled up on the hospital beds and finally fell asleep.  I had been awake over 24 hours by the time we closed our eyes to sleep.  I was overwhelmingly cloudy those first moments, not really realizing that this little person needed food or attention.  I was out...

By the time the sun rose, we were finally woken up by the nursing staff as they came to check on us and on baby girl.  Our friend, Jammie, arrived to take Andrea, Harper, and my mom back to City of Refuge for some rest, and we attempted feeding.  She latched on and the journey towards parenting really began.

By Monday morning, we were cleared to return home and our friends, John and Stacy, came to pick us up.  We left with a pile full of medications for me to take take during our first few weeks home and foggy brains as sleep was hit and miss that first full day.  When we arrived home, we were greeted by some very happy big brothers who were so excited to get to meet their little sister.  The first few days were marked with very little sleep, lots of emotions, trying to adjust to the usual school schedule for the boys, but also trying to adjust to being woken in the night by little cries and trying to figure out how to breastfeed and spend time with family and all that comes with being home (like laundry and cooking and dishes and...).

 I am so grateful for my family being around at that time.  They kept the boys busy with games and activities.  They helped with chores and organizing the house and keeping up with the laundry.  They encouraged me when the emotions came rolling over me and I couldn't control them.  It was an absolute blessing to have them here in such a new season.

On March 7, 2020, we were able to have Ava's naming ceremony with our CORM family and many of Richard's family and friends.  We named her:

Ava Lynne "Babaa Akosua" Acheampong

Ava meaning Life.

and Lynne meaning Church or House of God. 

Lynne being in honor of my mom.  Babaa and Akosua in honor of Richard's moms. 

We were able to pray sweet prayers over her and welcome her into this world with so much love and light.  Our families were thrilled to meet our little treasure and we were so excited to share her with them.

The "fourth trimester", as some have called the first three months of newborn life, is no joke.  It is more challenging and more rewarding than all my months of pregnancy.  It is harder...caused more tears...and has been a battle against constant fear.  With just a few days being home, Ava showed signs of jaundice.  Beyond that, she had an infection at her belly button site and had to be medicated.  This mama has struggled with my milk supply, seeing it not arrive for ten whole days and finally arriving, but so little that supplementation is still required.  It is still a work in progress with frequent feedings, pumpings, and eating all the things.  There is a constant state of lack of sleep, which leads to the frequent tears (along with all the things that go along with this new body).  Richard and I switch off during the night shift to keep baby girl fed and sleeping and have somehow worked out a routine, while the days sometimes seem endless with feedings and trying ever so hard to manage a long enough nap with Ava that this mama can get a few winks in too.  We are in coping mode right now, but learning and growing alongside still parenting two older kiddos too.  Yes, the fourth trimester is definitely not a joke.

In everything, our Ava-girl is worth it all...the pain and the tears, the hardships and the fear.  She is a beautiful gift from God and we are so grateful to be given the opportunity to raise her, to love her, to care for her, and to ultimately show her the love of a heavenly Father who has such a great plan ad purpose or her life.