Groans...

The Bible talks a whole lot about groaning...

Not the groaning like "Oh, my stomach is paining me" (as I often hear from children who come to my office...in their Ghana-English).

Not like the groanings that I make now-a-days when I'm tired and just want to crash on my bed for a little while.

I'm talking about the groanings that are felt in your spirit.  The groanings that words can't express.

Romans 8:26 talks about them this way:
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."

I feel like I have been groaning in this way this past month.

My Spirit has been groaning for things I'm not even certain of. 

I have been interceding for my staff, for CORM, without even knowing quite how to intercede.

We've been experiencing some pretty crazy things lately around here.

Just realizing the true and real need for discipleship.  Our staff needs it so desperately.

And I'm in constant need of discipleship from the Son so that I can do what I've been called to do here.

Sometimes, it makes me tired to just think about the many ways that God HAS to move to make things work here.

There is so much struggle happening.

So much of the enemy at work.

But, I know the ending.  I know God is victorious.

But, I also know there is a battle.  An intense battle at work.

This battle is over our students.  It is over our teachers.  It is over our very lives.

And so, I've been feeling those groans.  I'm been praying with groans.  I've been living in a season of groans.

But, it's good.  These groanings remind me that God is THE ONLY ONE who can do this.

I came back to this passage recently...challenged by it's words...

Luke 10:38-42

New International Version (NIV)

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”


I want to be Mary.  I want to sit at the feet of the Lord.  I want to marvel in his words over me.  I want to be hungry for his wisdom.

But, my nature is to be like Martha.  I am always busy doing.  And sometimes the doing makes me forget that this isn't about me...it's about God working IN me.

Father, my spirit groans with unspoken words.  I long for my staff to know you in a way that will change them.  I long for healing for their pasts and for them, a future that is brighter than they could even imagine.  I long for a true calling into their teaching here.

Father, I long to sit at your feet.  To hear what you have to say so that I may impart it to these teachers...to these students...

Draw me to yourself.  Remind me to set down the doing so that I can hear from you more.

Father, I trust you to heal my kids.  I trust you to walk through the hallways of these hearts, breaking down walls and building up trust.  Heal as only you can.

You are good.

Intercede on our behalf here.

We are longing for more of you.