Yesterday afternoon, I left the Freedom Center in Doryum to come to Accra for the afternoon before my flight left last night. I had to keep telling myself, "You're coming back in a month." But still, it was difficult to say goodbye to my kiddos. When Gracie started crying and Robert couldn't even look at me when I left, I knew that it wasn't going to be easy to leave! And my Edwin. . .I can't even start with that one! He came walking into my room minutes before leaving, "Mama, Mama, Mama!!" (he usually calls me "mama" or "dada" which we figure is Edwin-talk for Auntie Autum). It was almost like he knew I was going to take off soon. It's weird how a few months pass and my life is so completely different than it was before.
A few months ago, I was living and teaching in EPA. I had roommates, a car of my own, and was living a pretty independent life.
Now, I've realized that my life is not at all independent. I have to depend on God to provide my every need. My funds come not through a paycheck, but through my community of donors in the States. My food choices is made by the Freedom Center staff who cooks each meal for the 20 children we house and the 10 staff members that are part of our ministry. My ability to shower comes down to whether it has rained enough, or the tap is running, or the tank is full. And even my sleep is dependent on how well my little Edwin sleeps. My life has completely changed.
And it makes me wonder how my adjustment this month is going to be. I know that Stacy was praying that it would be a smooth transition returning home, since my trip back is so full. And I pray the same thing too. But, I just wonder, how has my vision changed (not literal, but figuratively). As I view my American life, what will I see now? I suppose it's a different kind of journey that I will take on this soil.
As I look at my tennis shoes, now brown from the dust and mud of the soil of Ghana, I know that somehow these two worlds will collide, will mix together, will make a new me. And the process begins now. . .