My name is Autumn Buzzell and I live and work in Ghana, West Africa with City of Refuge Ministries. Here, I run our school, Faith Roots International Academy, and get to be a part in rescuing and the healing of children who have been trafficked into the fishing trade, orphaned, abandoned, and those who just need a little extra loving. What an amazing gift this life is!

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Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Being There

Sometimes, being there is all you can do.

I've had a rough few days.  God's been dealing with me on some things.  I've felt very...raw.  Very bare.  Tender.

So, I hid away.  Inside my room.  Inside my head.  Inside my heart.

I haven't completely come out yet.  But, I'm trying.  There's much to say...but I haven't the words quite yet. 

All I know is that sometimes, you just need someone to be there.  On Monday, I couldn't even recognize the struggle, but community gathered around and spoke truth...not knowing that God was already working something in me.  Tears seemed to be my only language.

And yesterday was much the same.  I went home "sick" because every conversation led to a melt-down, even if it was only about lesson plans or checking homework. 

But, my mom wrote me with such truth.  She told me to press in until the work that needed to be done was finished.

And Keliy listened and helped me feel heard.

And I realized that the tender places, they needed to be felt.  And the words of truth, needed to be understood.  And I needed to press in..until it was finished. 

I'm not quite there yet. 

Today, I recognized that being there...in that tender place...maybe it was for such a time as this.

One of our kids heard some bad news today...

And being there...without words...with only that tender place to offer...maybe it's what was needed.  Maybe that's why it wasn't finished quite yet.

And we dealt with an incredibly cruel situation with a young girl in our community today...and I recognized that maybe this soft place, it's what was needed, because perhaps it's actually the Father's Heart for this girl...this melting place where I feel like I cannot even stand under the overwhelming-ness (is that a word?) of it all.

And we heard of an abuse of someone right in our backyard...and we know that our location here...it means something.  Being here...it's what is needed.  And this tender, raw place...it's what is needed.  And these tears...it's what is needed.

And even if it isn't finished...I know this is part of the battle...to experience the Father's Heart and know my place in it.  Simply being there.

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