I began leading worship a few years ago. Before that, I used to do a lot of small group speaking, telling my story, and praying for people. Once I started leading worship, it was like, somehow, my voice wasn't quite as free. I found it harder to speak up and speak out--even though I taught in a classroom all day and led worship often, my voice seemed a little lost in the crowd.
Today, I was challenged to find my voice again. Evangelist Sandra Riley is here with us this week. I totally love her. She's funny and smart and so encouraging. It's been a blast having her here with us. In any case, we took her to speak to a small group of women in Larteh. Her words were so powerful, and reminded me so much of my journey. I found myself brought back to the places where Christ has met me, taught me of my worth, freed me from the lies of the enemy.
At the end of her talk, she called up Stacy to speak, but Stacy pointed to me. I shyed away and refused to go up. What would I possible have to tell these women? So, Stacy went and spoke--spoke about speaking the truth out and the speaking out dark places to give freedom for the light to come in--spoke about encouraging one another in community.
After we were headed back home, Stacy said the reason she called me up to speak wasn't to embarass me but because she knew my story. Sometimes I forget that speaking up, even when it feels so difficult, can bring freedom.
All of this reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend while I was at home in the States. . .about remembering. Jill Farmer (a dear friend and past roommate) told me that God has her in a season of rememberance--remembering what God has done for her in the past so that she can live in that right now. And maybe I need to do a little bit of remembering as well. So much of my life here has been in the NOW that sometimes I forget the story that God has given me, the work that he has done, and the freedom and confidence that comes along with telling his story of redemption in my life.
So, I'm going to be keeping my eyes open for those opportunities to share my story, and I'm going to pray for the confidence that I need to find my voice again, and I'm going to trust that as I place my story in the hands of God's people, that as James 5 says, healing will come.
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That's so awesome Autumn. I'm reminded of when you started going by Autumn more often (the name change story) and when you shared your story at the Beauty to Ashes Women's Conference (with the orange pens!). It was so beautiful and powerful. Debra recently blogged about the beauty and power that comes out of pain. I think you might enjoy it...I'll send it to you.
ReplyDeleteSara Groves performed at the Freedom Summit and I thought of the conference she played at years ago, and your story. I think it's fitting that you blogged about this today, and remembering the amazing things God has done in and through you. Love you and thanks for sharing. Can't wait to hear how God gives you confidence to share over the next few weeks. I'll pray for opportunities for you.