My name is Autumn Buzzell and I live and work in Ghana, West Africa with City of Refuge Ministries. Here, I run our school, Faith Roots International Academy, and get to be a part in rescuing and the healing of children who have been trafficked into the fishing trade, orphaned, abandoned, and those who just need a little extra loving. What an amazing gift this life is!

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Wednesday, July 22, 2015

It's been awhile...

It's been a long time since I have sat down to blog. After a year a half, I traveled back to the States for a little rest and connection time with the many family and friends who I love and miss so much in my life here in Ghana.

It was such a wonderful trip home. I loved my time.

Now, being back in Ghana, I have jumped right back into life, preparing for our graduation celebration and the final week of school with exams and report cards and all that comes with the end of a school year and preparing for the one to come.

But in the midst of it all, there is so much I have been processing and thinking through and praying about and desiring to hear from God on. I am sure I will share some of those thoughts...that journey...with you here. 

But for now, I rest in the place that God has called me to. My home here in Ghana.

In many ways, returning felt as if I had never left. I feel like I always hit the ground running. 

But, sitting here tonight, with my worship music on and my cup of hot tea, I am missing my Keliy-girl. The familiar laugh. The depth of conversation. The times when she would pick up her guitar and lead on. 

Tonight, I am missing my friends. I am remiscing about New York City, and laser tag, and Indian curry under the stars. I am thinking about the voices of the many littles in my life who I get to love from afar, the little white hands that held mine. I often stared in wonder at those little fingers as I was so used to my little brown babies here. Tonight, my heart is a little sore for those friends who have known me well and loved me well and encourage me onward. 

Tonight, I am missing my family. The operatic voices sung out over a stilted piano accompaniment, the laughter and the tears, the conversations of such depth, the knowing that even in the moments of the most revealing frustration and sadness, I am loved.

Tonight, I guess I am just missing my homes in the States. 

The cost of being called here to Ghana sometimes feels so emotionally expensive.

I know that tomorrow, in the light of day, it will all feel normal again. But, for now, just in this moment, I am a little melancholy.

But, I suppose that's when you know that what you experienced is good and lovely and lasting...because you mourn its passing. I'm ok sitting in that place tonight.


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