My name is Autumn Buzzell and I live and work in Ghana, West Africa with City of Refuge Ministries. Here, I run our school, Faith Roots International Academy, and get to be a part in rescuing and the healing of children who have been trafficked into the fishing trade, orphaned, abandoned, and those who just need a little extra loving. What an amazing gift this life is!

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Thursday, September 25, 2014

I Can't Fix Them

I feel like Stacy has told me about five times this week, "Autumn, you can't fix their problems."

But, that's exactly what I want to do.

There have been several things that have popped up this week, situations that are brought to my attention through a hard conversation or a hurried note or even a worried look. 

For those of you who know me well...and those of you who have taken a spiritual gifts test...I am a mercy.  Mercy's are heart-people.  They feel the hurts and struggles and worries of those they interact with.  It has taken me a long time to sense when those hurts and struggles and worries are becoming a burden to me.  If I am not careful, I can take them on myself and they feel so heavy and hard.  I long to fix the problem.  To have the perfect answer.  To make everything alright.  To bring peace to the conflict.

But, Stacy is right.

In my need to fix the problem, I take away the one and only solution.  Full-surrender to Christ.

My advice and my comforts and my words takes away the opportunity for those struggling to engage with the Lord...the only one who actually could fix the problems, heal the hurts, wipe the tears.

But, oh, it is so hard for me to release. 

This morning, I spent so much time simply laying prostrate before the Lord, crying out for these ones who have been so heavily on my heart.

But, the answer was the same.  Just as their answer would be SURRENDER...mine is also surrender.

It's not easy.  In fact, it is almost defeating it feels so hard.  I want what is best for them.

But, maybe my best is not the best.

And so, I surrender.

I have to.  Because I can't fix them.

I can encourage and support them and lead them back to the truth when the questions come.  But I can't fix these situations.  I can't fix the problems.  I can't fix the sin issues in their lives.

That only comes in relationship with Jesus Christ.

And so, I surrender.

Again and again.

And I pray that as God hears my cry, that He will do the work.  He will do the fixing.  He will do the growing and the maturing and the stretching.

And so, I surrender.

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