My name is Autumn Buzzell and I live and work in Ghana, West Africa with City of Refuge Ministries. Here, I run our school, Faith Roots International Academy, and get to be a part in rescuing and the healing of children who have been trafficked into the fishing trade, orphaned, abandoned, and those who just need a little extra loving. What an amazing gift this life is!

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Monday, August 6, 2012

More Heart

It’s been awhile since I’ve written as I’ve been busy with new volunteers coming in, the planning and preparation of the August Day Camp, and a trip to the Volta.  It’s been nice to get my mind off of school business for awhile and it has been wonderful to have friends here.  It is just a breath of fresh air to see a familiar face (or eat some familiar dark chocolate!!).

As I wrote in the last blog post, I have been stuck in this period of time where I have just been discouraged by so many things.  Discouraged by my missing computer.  Discouraged by the overwhelming amount of work that I have to get done this month.  Discouraged by the fact that my camera wasn’t working right.  Discouraged by my broken Kindle.  Discouraged because I simply need to find more of “me” here.  Discouraged…discouraged…discouraged…

It hasn’t been an easy season.

This weekend, one of my friends was asking what God has been teaching me through this all and I just felt like all I could say was that I feel as though I’ve been walking through a season of “stripping away”.  So often, I find myself here, plugging along, working on projects and finding myself too busy to even find time with the kids…to find time in the Word…to find time to rest…to find time to play my guitar…to just find time.  But with a stolen computer, a lost internet USB drive, a broken Kindle…well, I’ve been given…time.  Frustrating time, but time all the same.

This past week, I keep coming back to a story that Stacy and John have mentioned many times.  Have you heard of Heidi Baker?  If you haven’t, you have to check her out.  Their website is www.irismin.org.  A beautifully passionate woman and her husband pursuing Christ for the people of Mozambique. 

Stacy tells the story of a friend of hers from her hometown in South Dakota who went to go hear Heidi Baker speak back in the States.  He went expecting to hear two hours of stories about the work of God being done in Africa, the miracles of healing, the joy of the children in their children’s home.  And when Heidi Baker came to the stage, she said the same six words for her whole talk, and then walked off the stage.

Pointing to her head, she said, “Less of this”.

Pointing to her heart, she said, “More of this”.

Over and over again…less of head, the thinking, the doing, the working, the trying, the people pleasing, the busyness.

Over and over again…more of the heart, the love of Christ, the hugs and kisses, the laughter, the time spent listening, the wiping of tears (some sometimes behinds), the healing of the sick, more, more, more of the heart.

The man left the conference so frustrated with the money that he had spent to go and hear these same six words over and over again...until he realized that the reason he was so frustrated was just what Heidi Baker had addressed...less head...more heart...and it transformed his life.

And so, I keep trying to replace my discouragement with this perspective.  It isn’t about me.  It isn’t about this school.  It isn’t about these teachers or my administrator or trainings or computers or broken kindles…it is about the love of Christ.

Less head…more heart…

It isn’t easy to overcome discouragement.  In fact, it’s a battle.

But, I seeing the smiles of the kids from the windows of our bus as we arrived home last night…receiving the endless hugs…dancing with the girls…laughing with volunteers…these are the reminders to live more with my heart and less with this crazy head of mine.

Lord, continue to remind me how to live like your Son…less head…more heart.

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