Early Morning School

This morning, I made it to school early to get our attendance sheets printed out. 

I love early morning school life.

Only Rapheal Addy and Rapheal Kporti were in school.  They were busy sweeping classrooms, singing and talking with one another.

The hallways were quiet.

The sun barely touching the corners of our courtyard out my office window.

I powered up my computer and finished up the work that never seems to get done the day before.

The sound of water trickling through our water filters is an almost soothing sound.

The whole school world seems at peace.

It's lovely.

Preparing for a Month

It's only 2 1/2 more weeks before I head back to the States for TWO MONTHS.  I can't believe I'll be back for that long, and right now, it only fills me with worry about how the school will do while I'm away. 

It's been a rough couple of weeks on this muscle that I have called TRUST.

And I suppose that muscle will continue to be stretched and worked for as long as I live, especially as long as I live and work here.  Sometimes that stretching is a bit painful.  But, it's necessary.  And in the end, we all learn.  We all grow.  We all learn.

In any case, as I prepare for the month that I'm gone, I'm trying to think of the daily little things that have to get accomplished around here...the things that I run out of time to do.

...the library...well, that place is in a constant state of inputting books and shelving new items!

...the behavior management...a daily part of the job as principal, not fun, but there all the same...

...one on one meetings with teachers to mentor and disciple...

...observations in classrooms...

...the budget...

...contacting parent's about missing fees...

...comforting children who have gotten hurt...

...conducting weekly meetings (2 times a week)...

...overseeing sponsorship information...

...communicating with sponsors, volunteers, and staff regarding the school...

...weekly leadership team meetings....

...overseeing the running of the office and its personnel...

...putting together the data for the students behavior and academics...

...purchasing needed items...

...working with GES to get our licensing...

...filtering water for classrooms...

And it feels like about a million other things fill up my time here. 

How do I prepare for the unknown? 

I've been walking through my daily to-do's and trying to think of everything that could possibly be needed while I'm away, and prepare for that.

It's overwhelming to think of being away from the school that long and not know how things will go, but I also know that I am in desperate need of time away and I know this time away will be so rich for me.

Praying for God's wisdom to follow me as I figure this all out.

 

Day 2

It is hard to exercise when you are sore.

My legs feel like noodles when I'm finished.

But, I'm feeling good.

More energy.

More sore.

But good.

Day 1

SORE

Finally Deciding

Today, all of us girl sat down at lunch and we finally decided that we have to work together to get this weight thing under control. 

I mean, Kathy, Emily, and Holly have no worries.  They want to be more active and they are joining Stacy and I in that journey.

So, we decided that we were going to start working out at 5:00 pm each night Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and at some point every Saturday.

It's just what I needed to have done to finally get rolling.  It's been months since I have made the time to actually exercise.

I think it will be a good way to build community...but an even better way to get rid of some of these extra pounds and unwanted flab.

Finally decided...it's time to buckle down and just get to it.

Tomorrow starts, DAY 1.

Reflecting on Singleness

I had a frustrating interaction with a local pastor on Friday, right near the end of our celebration time.  Coming on the heels of some really damaging information we recieved earlier in the week, I wasn't able to figure out how to deal with my emotions.  Am still figuring that out...

Yesterday, one of the local pastors came to chat with me a bit while we were packing everything up from our big celebration.  I tend to be very careful with what I say to certain people, not sure how they will handle the information, so I always try to be wise with my words when handling conversations with this man. 

Anyway, we chatted for awhile about various issues, and then he started prodding at my relationship status.  I am always careful around this issue, especially here.  When I told him that I was single, he asked me, "Why?  Don't you want to be married?" 

I know it wasn't his intention to be hurtful, nosy perhaps, but certainly not hurtful.  And perhaps that question wouldn't seem hurtful to many.  But, to me, it stung.

I responded that for now, God has called me here in my singleness.  When God calls me into marraige, I will follow after Him in that too. 

To which the pastor responded, "Then, you need to be praying for a man who has a heart that loves God to pursue you."

Another sting.  Another barb.

Not intentional, but hurtful all the same.

Of course I want to be married.  I long to be married.  I long for a family of my own.  I desire a husband that loves God and pursues him relentlessly.  I want children of my own.

I have dreams, have always had dreams, of being a wife and a mother.

I think, being here, has, in some ways, intensified those desires only because I long for someone to partner with me here.  The ministry can be extremely lonely...especially in a foreign culture and as a leader. 

Of course I pray for my future husband.  Almost daily, I pray for the man that he is now and who God is shaping him to be.  I pray for his heart, that he would be growing in maturity so that he will be able to lead well.  I don't know who he is, but I pray for him all the time.

Today, I was asked how many kids I would want when I was married someday.  I had to think about my answer, knowing that probably two years ago, I could have said my answer promptly, but knowing that I'm getting older and can't have the 5 kids that I longed for in the past, I had to answer a brief, "I'm not sure anymore."

I am busy here and this isn't something that is constantly on my mind, but I'm feeling a little raw with the emotions and awareness of my singleness today.

I pray that someday I will be married, but I know that there is a chance that I won't.  There is that chance.  And I think it's in that chance, that fear lies.

Predatory.  Filling my mind with the fear that I'm not good enough.  And so I wait in that, to hear the truth.  To believe the truth about myself again.

I trust in the promises of a Father who is good.  So, for now, and as often as I will remember, I will lay aside the fear of the unknown future ahead of me and trust that God has all under control.

 

These Boots Were Made for Dancing

Yesterday, we hosted our annual Thanksgiving Love Feast for our children and families at Faith Roots.  It was also an anniversary celebration of ONE YEAR, moving to the Children's Village. 

I can't believe that a year ago, we were beginning to load everything into our bedrooms here at the Omorefe house, the children were moving into their new home.  Everyone was excited about getting our own houses after crowding together in one house for a whole year.  We moved out here without electricity, trusting that it would happen in the weeks to come.  We didn't know that we would be without electricity for over 4 months.  We lived through the hot season, with the misquitoes buzzing around our faces, and we celebrated Easter weekend, when we finally got electricity into our houses.  You should have seen the dancing that day.

In so many ways, it seems like that move-in day was just yesterday.  And then, in other ways, like it happened years ago...a distant memory.  So much happens here in a day, it's hard to think that that was just a year ago when we were all living together.

And God is good.  He has provided in miraculous ways.  We have 11 classrooms and a fully functioning library at our school, compared to the 6 classrooms from last year, and the little blue school house from the year before.  We have another house with 17 new kids.  We have full-time volunteers here with us for a year.  We have a volunteer and guest house.  God has provided ABUNDANTLY in one year.  And all we can do is praise him!

And so, yesterday, we praised him in the dance!  We put on our dancing shoes and we danced until our feet hurt so bad we had to sit down.  The teachers danced, the students danced, the visitors danced...we danced until we couldn't stand, ate and drank some water, then danced some more.

It's rare that I get to have that kind of fun with our students.  They mostly see me in a different role, dealing with behavior issues or observing a teacher.  So, to get out on that dance floor, to tickle the little ones until they laughed with tears running down their faces, to soothe some of those who fell down and got a little scrape, to hold the babies when they're so tired they can't keep their eyes open.  It was a pleasure...

And I'm definitely feeling the exhaustion from two extremely busy days.  Feeling the need to withdraw and rest.

But, so blessed to celebrate with the dance...celebrate with Thanksgiving all that God has done for us this year.  Such an honor to get to be a witness to his hand at work here at CORM.