Finally...a day that made sense

Today was an abnormal Friday. We had a PTO meeting today, not my favorite day in any school term, but today, I found myself surprised.

Our executive members, parents elected by the parents to represent them to the school, asked to lead the PTO meetings from now on. I was nervous about this as it meant allowing parents to speak for us as the leaders of the school.

The meeting started off rocky. The execs wanted to get feedback from the parents, involving them as much as possible, so they brought up topics I would have much preferred stayed out of bounds. But, before I even had to say anything, one of our execs stood up and clarified everything for the parents just the way I would have. After that, I knew that it would be ok to have them lead and I could a trust that they would represent the school well. And so I sat off to the side, happy to chime in only when requested. Releasing this responsibility is such a blessing. The PTO meetings have continually brought anxiety my way. So, I was happy to watch others represent us well, but also provide adequate opportunities for the parents to have a voice.

After our PTO meeting, I made a mad dash to my office to eat lunch and prepare salaries. With such a full day at hand, I was worried about getting it done, but before a I knew what was happening, I had two crying KG's in my office after getting in trouble. If it had been yesterday, I could have easily lost my cool. But, today, I just sat them down, turned on worship music and before two minutes had passed, the crying had waned, and even eight minutes later, they were sleeping on my office floor. Salaries were completed quickly after that. Thankful that God's presence calmed the storm brewing in these two little ones (and perhaps in me too).

This afternoon, we gathered as a school out in the canteen, each class preparing something to share about an African country that they had studied this week as a part of African Union Day. Each class had studied a different country and told us a little bit about the culture, language, food, economics, etc of each country. It was such a joy to hear their studied words regarding each country, to see them dance and represent something from another culture, and to share dramas and languages from other African cultures.

Today, in the midst of the many trials that so many African nations face, I felt blessed to be a part of these people and this culture. Ghana is peaceful and loving and hospitable. We aren't at risk of persecution. We see so many things that are frustrating or sad here, but we witness even more joy and hope and love. And I saw that in the laughter of our children and staff, in the confidence of the speakers, in the presence of our PTO board. 

Today, I am just thankful.

Not anything but...

Wow...today was one of those days. 

I had children in trouble in my office in droves. 

I had crying children out the wazoo.

I went into my Bible class that I teach on Thursdays so frustrated that I warned them my grouchy mood would result in points lost if they were late or misbehaving.  (They are a wonderful class and I almost never have behavior issues with them!)

I texted Stacy around lunch time and told her I just needed a good cry, I was so overwhelmed.

She brought me chocolate (God bless her!).

So tonight, I have nothing to offer.  No wisdom from my time in Ghana.  No clarity on a day well-lived (in fact, I did my fair share of shouting at children today...not my finest moments as a principal).  I don't have anything, but...

Psalm 42

For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah.

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

⁸ By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

 

 

 

 

And that's all I need. 

Love

Last night, I went to bed frustrated and questioning God. This morning, His Holy Spirit was convicting my heart. When He is doing a work of love in a community, what challenges do you think you will face? He will place before you ones that are difficult to love...that push your buttons...that require so much of you...but perhaps they are in need of love most of all. And He reminded me of this:

1 Corinthians 13

The Message (MSG)

The Way of Love

13 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

2 If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11 When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

The Holy Spirit's conviction is never easy, but it is always right on time and so necessary. Trusting God to give me grace moment by moment and to show me how to love fully and completely just like He did.

Note To Self

After arriving home, within the first five minutes of being home, I heard all the ways that this day wasn't perfect for others.

Clinging to the truth that it is OK to take care of myself.  It is ok to just be loved on in sweet and relaxing ways.  It is ok to spend time with friends.  It is ok to take time away.  It is necessary and it is good and it is Godly.

Remember that in the future, Autumn. 

Let all the other words go.

Adventures in Learning to Rest

This week has been crazy.  As, I am sure you noticed, this was the theme of my posts last week.  Johnbull told me more than once, "Autumn, everything will be done, even if it isn't done today." 

So, when we planned to go into Accra today, a day away with Stacy and our sweet friend, Angie, I knew it was much needed.  God loves to love on us in that way.  I don't love on myself very well sometimes.  I forget the need to rest.  I tie myself up into knots, my mind whirring with the hundreds of "to-dos", with the responsibility of the school, our kids, the Kingdom.  I forget, sometimes, that it's not in my strength that any of this is done.  I forget that it isn't about me.  I forget and let worry get the better of me.

But, I was reminded today.  Some days, God just loves to spoil His kids.  He pours His love down in friendships and truth and pedicures and hair cuts and ham and cheese and rocking chairs.  It's unexpected and lovely and so filling.

Even with the fun of a day away, today was a typical adventure in Ghana.  Transportation is never easy here and as we face another rainy season with very unreliable vehicles, we were unsure of our transportation to and from Accra today.  We decided to go in our Sequoia, despite its many leaks and the worry that it may or may not make it there without overheating.  When Stacy and I hopped in, we knew right away we were in for an adventure as the battery was dead and John jumped the car and then added cables to our car "just in case".

When we were finally off, we picked up Angie in Tema and made our way into Accra.  When we arrived to Accra, our brakes, well, let's just say that they didn't go completely "out", but it probably wasn't the safest vehicle.  Even pushed almost to the floor, the brakes barely engaged.  This is dangerous in America, but if you knew how driving works in Ghana, it's crazy-dangerous here.  So, we headed to a mechanic to fill up our brake fluid in hopes that would solve the problem.  (It didn't, but that's ok.)

In any case, despite the very serious lack of brakes, we decided to continue on our adventure and went to a store called Orca.  Now, we literally cannot afford just about everything in that store, but it was fun to visit.  It was almost like an IKEA, with furniture set up in various living room and bedroom settings.  We went from scene to scene, trying out each couch and chair (which are known for being notoriously hard here in Ghana), trying to find the perfect one.  And find it we did!  We found a rocking chair recliner with the perfect amount of soft, cushiony corners.  It was beautiful and so soft and I could have slept in that chair over my own bed.  I'm sure the saleswoman, keeping a close eye on our behavior, was wondering how long we were going to stay in her rocking chairs.  But, it was glorious and when you find that perfect little piece of heaven on earth, you want to stay in that moment for as long as possible!

When we went outside after exploring all of Orca for hours (we lost track of time), our car's battery was dead.  (I forgot to turn the headlights off...my bad.)  But, a wonderful, friendly, French-speaking family pulled in next to us just in the nick of time and jumped our car.  GRATEFUL!

After Orca, we headed to one of our new favorite restaurants, La Gallete--a restaurant with cheese...I mean, real cheese, and delicious pastries and...just all things deliciousness.  We had nachos (with sour cream, guys!  Sour Cream!) and I ordered a Chef Salad with HAM...HAM!!!  Are you hearing me?  Actual HAM!  I don't think you understand...the amount of pork I eat here in Ghana is ZERO, so when you can get a salad with ham and olives and cheese and egg and all kinds of veggies...it was perfect.

Then, it was off to a local hotel for some beautifying.  I got my hair trimmed, a true luxury here in Ghana as most people don't know how to cut Obroni's hair.  She cut and combed and it was so quiet.  So quiet.  I felt as if I could just fall asleep in that moment.  She cut and styled and combed.  And with every swipe of the comb, I felt myself relax.

And then, the pedicure.  Soft and gentle and just right and my feet still feel like they are walking on clouds.

We ended our little adventure with apple pie and onion rings (don't ask...it was OUR DAY and we are going to eat what we want!).

Today was just perfect.

And days like today don't happen often, but when they do...even with all the issues with our car today...I recognize Daddy's voice...His love...when I won't do things for myself, when I won't rest, He showers down days with rocking in soft chairs, or laughing with friends, or eating cheese, or getting pampered.

Grateful.



 

Rivers

Last night, I posted about how tired I was.  This week has been a doosy! 

And after posting last night, our plans for youth group fell through, again. 

So, we had a back up plan.  We decided to talk about baptism with the kids, something we have been wanting to discuss with them for awhile now. 

We started out with a little worship and prayer.  It was nice to be able to lead worship again without losing my voice or having it crack.  We sang together a song we all know well, and then, I decided to introduce them to a new song, Bryan and Katie Torwalt's "Weight of Your Glory".

We have seen the way you move
Full of goodness, full of mercy
We can never get enough
Oh god of grace, great god of love

Chorus:
Let the weight of your glory
Come settle on us now
We stand in awe for you are holy
And your kindness overwhelms

As we see your signs and wonders
Signs from heaven up above
You draw us in
You pull us closer
Into the depths of your great love

Bridge:
Be lifted up, you heavenly gates
Be opened wide, you ancient doors

Little did I know that the room would be flooded with His presence in such a way that every knee would bow, that shoes would be removed because we were there on holy ground, that hearts would be ministered and spoken to and filled up.

My weary post...just an hour before...it felt as though it were years away.  The words soaring through my spirit.  New songs being formed on my lips.  My voice, strong and new, bursting forth with such urgency.

And when John came around to pray for each person in the room, in the midst of His presence and His glory coming to sit with us there, God spoke about rivers of life-giving waters flowing into me, providing life and fruit to many.

 

 

And so, even in the midst of the weariness, there is such refreshment in the life-giving waters of God.  Trusting that even in this place, He will continue to fill and refresh and pour in and love on me.

Tired

This week, I have struggled. It has been emotionally exhausting. I have faced my fair share of sleepless nights. I have worked long and hard days at school. It has been wearing and I am weary.

This morning, I opened the word and I soaked in this.

Isaiah 55

New Living Translation (NLT)

Invitation to the Lord’s Salvation

55 “Is anyone thirsty?
    Come and drink—
    even if you have no money!
Come, take your choice of wine or milk—
    it’s all free!
2 Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
    Why pay for food that does you no good?
Listen to me, and you will eat what is good.
    You will enjoy the finest food.

3 “Come to me with your ears wide open.
    Listen, and you will find life.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you.
    I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David.
4 See how I used him to display my power among the peoples.
    I made him a leader among the nations.
5 You also will command nations you do not know,
    and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey,
because I, the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.”

6 Seek the Lord while you can find him.
    Call on him now while he is near.
7 Let the wicked change their ways
    and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.
    Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.

8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says theLord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

10 “The rain and snow come down from the heavens
    and stay on the ground to water the earth.
They cause the grain to grow,
    producing seed for the farmer
    and bread for the hungry.
11 It is the same with my word.
    I send it out, and it always produces fruit.
It will accomplish all I want it to,
    and it will prosper everywhere I send it.
12 You will live in joy and peace.
    The mountains and hills will burst into song,
    and the trees of the field will clap their hands!
13 Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow.
    Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up.
These events will bring great honor to the Lord’s name;
    they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”

And that's it, isn't it?

So, I will drink deep. 

I will soak it in. 

I will listen for the words that breathe life.

And I will trust that this weary place will produce God's best, the cypress from the thorns.