Running

This week has been incredibly stressful.  Yesterday, I heard the news from my newly hired office assistant that she wouldn't be returning to work for me due to some problems within the family.

Not the first time I have heard that this year. 

As a matter of fact, that is the THIRD "I quit" scenario I have heard this year.  But, this one kinda put me over the edge.

Stressed about getting everything done before I head back to the States, I had been working on training Ella, my assistant, to do much of the little day to day things that I do around here.  I got along with her so well and was so pleased to have found such a friendly and eager person to help move our school forward.

And then, tragedy struck and it left me without help...again.

And then, hearing news from home about a dear friend moving away...

Well, it was all just a little too much to handle in one day.

And so, instead of our normal Jilian Micheals workout, I decided to go for a walk.

And the walk turned into a run.

And the run turned into a race against myself...my mind...my emotions...

And the race turned into a mess of tears.

But, good tears.

Healthy tears.

Tears that said, "I cannot do this alone.  I need help.  And that help can only come from my Father."

I sat down at the end of the road and cried...surrendered...fully understanding that this mess that I was in had one purpose, in releasing myself from the burden of carrying this school, and handing it over to the Maker who had the vision in the first place.

And then, this song came on my ipod, sending me even deeper into my hurt, and fear, and insecurities.  This song, "Beautiful Things" by Gungor, brings back memories that seem to have been from a lifetime ago. 

I got to be a part of the birth of one of my nieces (I guess you could call her a niece, since her mom and I are practically sisters), and this song was almost on repeat in the birthing room. 

But, besides those beautiful memories, it also holds such a beautiful truth.

This year, I have struggled with my singleness, at times my loneliness, the burden of what we do here...

But, this song brought great truth.  He does make beautiful things out of the dust.  And those tears that flowed down my face felt like I was being molded...

reformed...

made beautiful again...

And so I leave you with these words, the ones that shaped yesterday's experience and turned it into something quite lovely.

"Beautiful Things"

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us